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How to make a long distance relationship work March 8, 2009

Filed under: How to...,Relationships — mammyflop @ 9:06 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

In today’s world of dating, we often find ourselves living away from our partners. Whether it’s 2 hours or 2,000 miles, being apart can really take itstoll on yourrelationsihp. As if being in a relationship isn’t difficult enough! Here are some tips to keep the love alive in your long-distance relationship!

The main dish is communication: you aren’t around each other so there are no nonverbal signals to pick up on, no cuddling, no hugging, no passionate kisses to communicate how much you care. You have to use your words and other creative gestures. Talk every day. This is a MUST.

Skype!! It’s free and there’s something qualitatively different about seeing your honey in addition to just hearing their voice. At least just give it a shot.

Send pacakges. Let your partner know you’re thinking of them and thoughtful enough to put some effort into it. Some ideas…send a “candlelight dinner”…a couple of tea lights or votives, a box of mac ‘n cheese, chocolates, rose petals or a beautiful dried flower, include a movie if you like. Make sure you have the same items, and you can have a candlelight dinner date with your love! Another idea…get a bag of hershey’s kisses and/or hugs. Remove the paper strips, and make your own. Write down reasons you love your partner or things you love about her/him, and slip them inside the foil wrapper to replace the original strip.

Make a photo calendar on shutterlfy.com or a on similar photo website. If you have a good memory, search through your photos and assign pics  to the calendar months based on the month in which it was taken (for example, if you have a picture of you and your partner from his birthday in june last year, assign that picture to the june month in the calendar you’re creating). It will be fun for both of you to remember the events!

Keep reminders of your partner. I’m talking about pictures, gifts, and other tokens of that person. Placing them strategically allows you to incorporate your partner into your life when s/he’s not physically present. Wear jewelry, the watch, the clothes that s/he gave you. Remember this when you put the item on, and be grateful for it. Place tokens around your world. For example, place a pic of you and your partner in different rooms of your home, in your car, in your planner. If it sounds obsessive, then don’t go overboard- do what you’re comfortable with. Just remember, when you can’t be together, you have to find ways to make the person a presence in your life.

Have “dates”. Yes! It’s possible! Go get an ice cream cone at the same time and talk on the phone while enjoying your cones. Find a recipe you both love and cook at the same time. Find a movie you both want to see, and find theatres in your respective towns that are playing the movie at roughly the same time. Or rent a movie, and begin it at the same time. Stay on the phone or on skype during the activities to feel your partner closer!

Start a project together. Read the same book, join a yoga class, train for a half marathon together, begin a home improvement project. It’s a way to stay connected on an engaging task that you’re both into.

Visit each other as much as possible. In today’s economy you may not have the funds to make as many trips as you’d like to, but you have to prioritize your relationship and yes,  that means sometimes sacrificing the new pair of heels for a plane ticket.

Make an end in sight. Relationships that carry on without a definitive endopint can seem confusing and hopeless. Partners can easily get discouraged. Make a plan with your partner, and make sure it’s a good compromise that you both can commit to.

Bottom line: Be creative, be committed, and communicate.

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