Living the Dream

This is how you get what you want…

How to find happiness within your everyday life July 29, 2008

Filed under: Archives,How to...,life — mammyflop @ 11:01 am
Tags: , , , , ,

I feel a bit hypocritical writing a blog on how to find happiness within your life, because often times I fail to do this myself. However, it’s important for us (myself included) to see the beauty in each experience and find that moment of happiness. I think it’s important for people to realize that trials and tribulations are a part of life and with out such obstacles we can’t say we are truly living life.

Ever notice that when you are having a bad day, it seems as if life has the odds stacked against you? We are so quick to calculate and assess the negative but rarely the positive. Why is that? I guess it depends on the person – glass half empty or glass half full? But overall, I think it’s easier to dwell on the things that don’t go as planned because you can always say ”I tried” and move on. Perhaps that nonchalant attitude of ”oh well” is getting you into a funk. Maybe it’s time for start focusing on the action, effort and not so much the outcome. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to attain goals and reach for the stars, but it’s also important to learn from the process. Speaking from personal experience, I know that I seek validation and satisfaction from the end result of my venture, and fail to see the doors I have opened along the way. When you open those doors, you may be surprised with what you find!

For example, let’s say you are trying to find a new job. You spend countless hours online, visiting job websites, temp agencies, asking for personal referrals, and so on. You find yourself dreaming about your resume revisions. Finally, you set up an interview with a company who is offering a not so ”ideal” position. Out of desperation and some form of change you go to the interview. After the interview you convince yourself that ”this isn’t really the job I’m looking for but I guess I’ll just take it”… Only to find out that you did not get the position. HOW DISCOURAGING!!!! Right? Most people, myself included would feel somewhat rejected, “I couldn’t even land a job that I didn’t really want” or twist it around to thinking ”Whatever, I didn’t want that job anyways”… both trains of thought being less than positive. Yes, at the end of the day you need to get a job … but maybe you need to look at each step along the way. Look at it this way, you were able to familiarize yourself with the job market, you cleaned up your resume and now you have interview experience. Not getting the job allows you to find the job of your dreams! So, when you are feeling down about your situation, try to dissect it a bit more and look at each individual step.

I’m sure this sounds impossible for many people. I know I fail to look at the process over the outcome. However, when you are in a moment of depression, dismay, or plain old frustration, this method of analysis really helps. So we can’t all be living fairy tale lives, but at least we are living a life separate from anyone else. You are in control of your life and you are the only person who can control your emotions. Maybe it’s time to put the Kleenex away because you lost a job, or you broke up with your significant other. Don’t let those outside factors dictate your life. Yes, obstacles suck and we would rather live problem free, but that isn’t something we can control. However, we can control how we think and how we want to live our lives.

In order to find happiness within your life it’s important to focus on the facts. Your life is being acted out by you and only you. It is up to you to deal with the ups and downs of your life. There isn’t a manual, and there isn’t an option for ”fairytale ending” but there is a chance for you to be happy. When the big picture doesn’t pan out as planned, look at the small picture. What did you learn, what can you change and do differently? As long as you are being proactive in your life, you have a chance of finding your true happiness. Like other good things, sometimes happiness require effort. You win some and you lose some, but as long as you keep getting up when you’re down – you have a shot.

Action may not always bring happiness;
but there is no happiness without action
.
Benjamin Disraeli

So today and everyday, try to see the beauty in your life. Figure out what made your day so different and special. And always remember, change is constant in life. Going through the ups and downs, the cycle keeps us alive.

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In the name of love: Find the IMPERFECT Person September 25, 2007

Filed under: Relationships — mammyflop @ 11:59 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

roses

I’m sure most of you are wondering if IMPERFECT is a typo, but it’s NOT. All your life I’m sure you’ve heard people say ” Nobody is perfect.”

Dictionary.com defines “Perfect” as the following:

“1. conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type

2. excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement

3. exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose.

4. entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings.”

Now take a second and ask yourself – “Are you perfect?” “What qualities would your perfect person have?” “Have your ideals, and / or expectations of the perfect person changed from the ‘perfect person’ 5 years ago?”

Now ponder this- “Would being with someone who exudes absolute perfection be what you are looking for?” ” Would your perfect person ever understand your imperfections?” “Can anyone be 100% perfect at all times, and would that even be exciting?”

Here are my answers- ” I don’t think I can ever be absolutely perfect because we all have different perceptions on perfection.” “I think my definition of the perfect person would be a dichotomy of the necessary qualities I look for (needs) and the situational, constantly evolving characteristics (specific wants) of each individual” “I think each individual has a set of guidelines for ‘perfection,’ and it’s not fair to have a cookie cutter of perfection.” “I wouldn’t want to be with a perfect person, because I would be self-conscious about my own imperfections, or weak points.” “Mr. Perfect may not know how to be spontaneous… sure he is perfect Monday thru Friday, but sometimes I want a little bit of excitement.” “My ‘perfect’ person is always undergoing some revision – I don’t think my ‘perfect’ person 5 years ago would even resemble my perfect person right now.”

Take a look at the above definition: “complete beyond … improvement”
Do you really want to spend your time, your life, your energy on someone who doesn’t have room for improvement? I think not. We always long for better, for the best.

With all that being said- I am no longer looking for Mr. Perfect. I don’t think Mr. Perfect exists, nor do I long to find him. I am searching for Mr. Imperfect. Why?

“WE COME TO LOVE NOT BY FINDING A PERFECT PERSON, BUT BY LEARNING TO SEE AN IMPERFECT PERSON PERFECTLY” – SAM KEEN

Take a minute and process the above quote.

Being with a perfect person is like hitting the glass ceiling. You can never reach any higher…. if things don’t stay perfect, there is only one way to go – down.

People aren’t perfect- people make mistakes- people learn from mistakes- people change – all in the name of love. Making mistakes are never fun times, but, at least you know there is room for growth.

You may never find Mr. Perfect, but what you can do is love a person for who they are- imperfections and all. Let’s face it, some imperfections are quite endearing, and humbling.

And when you find yourself wanting to see Mr. Imperfect, don’t be afraid – you may be surprised. Don’t let the apparent imperfections steer you away from true love…. You know what they say:

“Love conquers all.”